Footprints is the debut comic book from Joey Esposito; resident comic book nerd at IGN. He has written something that is so pulp, it makes pulp look... not like pulp. Dammit, I need to get the hang of that.
Ok, so what happens when Cryptids (creatures that are “hidden” and not proved to exist) come out and let everyone know that they’re real?
They become detectives! Ok, they don’t ALL become detectives but Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, the Chupacabra, the Jersey Devil and Megalodon do. Because that’s how they roll. Oh and the Mothman is a woman called Motheresa. She’s the femme fatale ( You’re already pre-ordering it, right?).
But this isn’t a simple Noir Pulp story, oh no! We’ve also got global warming and war mixed in there! The Government doing stuff they shouldn’t!
Ok, let me set it up for you: Bigfoot is an old Private Investigator who’s burned bridges and left himself in a miserable state.
A letter from his brother, the Yeti (and you didn’t think it could get better), takes him far north, on the back of the Jersey Devil, into a dank, frozen cave his brother calls home.
Without giving too much away, it isn’t a pleasant visit. They soon start connecting the dots, jumping from one clue to the next, uncovering a conspiracy originating from the 1940’s while bringing up painful memories of lost love and failed friendships.
But this is a comic book! Fantastic writing is only half of the story! What about the art?
Jonathan Moore seems to have been born for this sort of book. The use of shadows and grey do more for the atmosphere than any colour palette could ever do with this genre.
It has the feel of classic Noir films while still offering plenty of modern feel. Imagine is Sam Spade went looking for a murderer and ended up getting involved with the freaking government.
The art is moody, dramatic and doesn't make the subject matter seem silly. A giant shark having a relationship with the Loch Ness monster? That could have been one big cock joke after cock joke but, thanks to Esposito’s writing and Moore’s very fine Noir art, it’s a serious, heart breaking relationship.
And, I have to say, the Jersey Devil is one of the best characters in the book. He may not be likable but he’s pretty freaking great. He’s one of the best slimy anti heroes I've seen in a long time.
I’m very worried about this book, though. I’m worried it will not get the publicity it deserves. I’m worried it’ll end up an underrated spectacular thrill ride like Steve Nile’s “Dead She Said.”
So go and buy this book. Buy it twice. Buy several as gifts for loved ones. Just please, for the love of God, do not let this fade away. Treat it like the Cryptids! Talk about it, take blurry photos of it and post about it all over the internet. You’ll only regret it if you don’t.
Friday 6 April 2012
Thursday 29 March 2012
Interview With Miracle of Sound!
So, around this time last year I heard Age of the Dragon on The Escapist and I was blown away. It's an epic Rock song about one my favourite games! And there was more to come and more on Miracle of Sound's Youtube channel! Since then, Miracle of Sound (A.K.A Gavin Dunne) has become one of my favourite musicians of all time.
And today he answered a few of my questions. Because he kicks ass.
Did you honestly have any idea you'd be so popular?
I had no idea the gaming song niche I discovered would be so popular and I am delighted that it was. I believe that if you work long and hard enough for something your chances of it happening are at least drastically increased.
Did you honestly have any idea you'd be so popular?
I had no idea the gaming song niche I discovered would be so popular and I am delighted that it was. I believe that if you work long and hard enough for something your chances of it happening are at least drastically increased.
Will you be doing any more covers? I think I speak for most of your fans when I say your version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow was awesome.
I tend to avoid covers due to copyright issues and the fact that I love writing my own stuff. That cover was a birthday gift for my girlfriend, I wasn't even sure if I was going to post it on the web but I'm glad I did now as people enjoyed it.
Will we get to see some of your older songs from Lotus Lullaby on your Miracle of Sound channel?
There are painful legalities involved with those songs that I'd rather not get into. But yes, eventually they will be mine to do with what I wish.
Where did the names Lotus Lullaby and Miracle of Sound come from, anyway?
Long stories... Miracle Of Sound is the name of a Lotus Lullaby song I wrote, which was a simple little song about how awesome music is. Hence 'The Miracle Of Sound' - it just means that music is great in general. I started using it as my username on the Escapist and I became known to people as MOS so I kept it! It's also a reference to Soundwave form Transformers.
As for Lotus Lullaby, the Lotus Flower is associated with rebirth and new life. So it was a way of saying 'catharsis and rebirth through song'.
Last year must have been incredible for you with the success of songs like Sovengarde song and The New Black Gold. Have you got any plans to outdo yourself this year?
Last year must have been incredible for you with the success of songs like Sovengarde song and The New Black Gold. Have you got any plans to outdo yourself this year?
I always do my best to keep improving. I feel that some of my best songs have been made in early 2012 and yet there is always room for improvement. Listening to fan feedback is a big thing for me - constructive criticism helps me to perfect the craft. So in short: Yes, I hope to always outdo myself!
Since Legends of the Frost, with Malukah, was so popular do you plan on doing more duets?
Yeah, why not? I think Malu and I will be doing a Mass Effect song at some stage. I rarely find people I actually want to work with though - she's kind of one in a million in that she's an amazing singer as well as a skillful producer and arranger.
Since Legends of the Frost, with Malukah, was so popular do you plan on doing more duets?
Yeah, why not? I think Malu and I will be doing a Mass Effect song at some stage. I rarely find people I actually want to work with though - she's kind of one in a million in that she's an amazing singer as well as a skillful producer and arranger.
Your game commentaries are incredibly interesting; you tackle issues like Woody's rape comment and how youtube icon treat their fans, as well as talking about video games. Will we be seeing more of this soon?
I haven't had time for any commentaries lately due to music commitments but yeah, I set up a new gaming channel just for that so I hope to get back into it soon.
Just how much do you hate second chance?
Haha! I have stopped caring to be honest. I gave up on COD, it has the potential to be amazing but every year they fuck it all up with 2 or 3 game breaking imbalances.
What is your preferred gaming platform?
Ideally I'd love a beastly PC. But due to my financial situation, for now I am primarily a 360 guy.
What albums have you been listening to recently?
Nightwish - Imaginaerium, Lamb Of God's new one (which was a bit 'meh' compared to their last 3 or 4), lots of Rammstein and lots of cheesy 80s and 90s pop.
You've always been upfront with your lack of musical education. How did you get started in music, was there an inspiration?
I knew the second I picked up a guitar at 14 and played my first chord - this was what i wanted to do with my life. It's the only thing I've ever been good at!
You've only really hinted at your past (family issues and drugs). Will you be releasing an autobiography at some point in the future?
Haha who knows? It would be arrogant at this stage to presume anyone would want to read it. But I will definitely tell a little bit more about my past in the future in some way, some day.
Do you intend to release more personal or more political songs in the future?
Yes. When I get more time to!
Are you often asked if you know Bono? It seems like people think all Irish people know Bono.
Yes I do get asked that and no, I don't know him. Thing is, U2 are seen quite casually over here. If you saw them walking down the street it would be like 'oh look there's U2', not 'AAAAAAAARG OH MY GOD ORGASM'.
You recently played a live Gig in Ireland. Will you be doing more in the future? A tour, even?
No plans for that right now. Don't have the money!
Your taste in music is very varied. Is there any genre of music that you refuse to do?
I avoid rap because, with a few exceptions, I don't believe it requires very much effort or talent to create. I can generally find things I like in any genre though, even rap (for example I love early Snoop Dogg, Public Enemy, Eminem, all that good stuff but if you play me a Souljya Boy or 50 Cent record I'll take it out and snap it in two).
What games are you looking forward to most, now that Mass Effect 3 has been released?
GTA5 is the big one this year I think. And I will be a very happy man if Fallout 4 is announced soon.
Have you ever thought about doing songs for other aspects of Geek Culture? For example, films and comic books.
Yep. I'm thinking of doing more stuff like that this year, possibly starting with a Game Of Thrones song.
You've always been upfront with your lack of musical education. How did you get started in music, was there an inspiration?
I knew the second I picked up a guitar at 14 and played my first chord - this was what i wanted to do with my life. It's the only thing I've ever been good at!
You've only really hinted at your past (family issues and drugs). Will you be releasing an autobiography at some point in the future?
Haha who knows? It would be arrogant at this stage to presume anyone would want to read it. But I will definitely tell a little bit more about my past in the future in some way, some day.
Do you intend to release more personal or more political songs in the future?
Yes. When I get more time to!
Are you often asked if you know Bono? It seems like people think all Irish people know Bono.
Yes I do get asked that and no, I don't know him. Thing is, U2 are seen quite casually over here. If you saw them walking down the street it would be like 'oh look there's U2', not 'AAAAAAAARG OH MY GOD ORGASM'.
You recently played a live Gig in Ireland. Will you be doing more in the future? A tour, even?
No plans for that right now. Don't have the money!
Your taste in music is very varied. Is there any genre of music that you refuse to do?
I avoid rap because, with a few exceptions, I don't believe it requires very much effort or talent to create. I can generally find things I like in any genre though, even rap (for example I love early Snoop Dogg, Public Enemy, Eminem, all that good stuff but if you play me a Souljya Boy or 50 Cent record I'll take it out and snap it in two).
What games are you looking forward to most, now that Mass Effect 3 has been released?
GTA5 is the big one this year I think. And I will be a very happy man if Fallout 4 is announced soon.
Have you ever thought about doing songs for other aspects of Geek Culture? For example, films and comic books.
Yep. I'm thinking of doing more stuff like that this year, possibly starting with a Game Of Thrones song.
Miracle of sound can be found here:
And you can buy his songs on Bandcamp and you can also search for him on iTunes.
Also, you can follow me on Twitter, if you like.
Labels:
Interview,
Malukah,
Miracle of Sound,
music,
Video Games
Thursday 15 March 2012
Spam Bot!!!
Sometimes, when I check my emails, I get MSN messages from a spam bot and lately I've started replying... Don't Judge me. Get it? Do you get it? You will when you read it, obviously...
gabby bright says:
heeyy i've been lookin for u!
Me! says:
What can I do for you, citizen?
gabby bright says:
Hey there, hope you don't mind chatting with a spiteful horny girl, So how r you??
Me! says:
It's my duty to assist all citizens. But do not test my patience.
gabby bright says:
ya I know its random, but my asshole ex cheated on me so i'm on a manhunt lol... I found ur username on a msn directory, I'm Gabby, you are? =D
Me! says:
Judge Dredd, of Mega City 1! I dispense justice! I am the law!!!
gabby bright says:
i see.. where do u live? i am bored at home...and this usually leads to bad things especially since I'm single and sexually deprived
Me! says:
I just said, I'm from Mega City 1! Pay attention, citizen!
gabby bright says:
lol, read the fine print on that page babe..it says session is only $0.00 if a premium member invites you...I've been a premium member there for a long time. Trust me I know how the site works I'm a webcam freaklol..
Me! says:
Public nudity could earn you two years in The Cubes, citizen!
gabby bright says:
r you on any online dating sites? You seem fun... i just took some dirty pics and uploaded them on my BeNaughty page.. wanna see? haha
Me! says:
Seven years in The Cubes for soliciting a Judge of Mega city1!
gabby bright says:
Ok, go here, lemme know whatcha think (Website deleted, perv!) You might have to make an account if u dont have one already. It takes literally 1 minute and it's completely free..
Me! says:
An additional two years for resisting arrest!
gabby bright says:
Give me your username when you signup so I can send you a friend invitation, if you like my pics maybe we can get to know each other more ... k? =D
Me! says:
You'll get to know me when I'm throwing you in the cubes
gabby bright says:
i'm posting some more naughty pics I just took, would like to get your opinion..k?
Me! says:
You're just begging for a life sentence, aren't you?
gabby bright says:
did u make ur account??
Me! says:
I'm filing a report right now. Expect two Judges any minute.
Sentence: Life
gabby bright says:
heeyy i've been lookin for u!
Me! says:
What can I do for you, citizen?
gabby bright says:
Hey there, hope you don't mind chatting with a spiteful horny girl, So how r you??
Me! says:
It's my duty to assist all citizens. But do not test my patience.
gabby bright says:
ya I know its random, but my asshole ex cheated on me so i'm on a manhunt lol... I found ur username on a msn directory, I'm Gabby, you are? =D
Me! says:
Judge Dredd, of Mega City 1! I dispense justice! I am the law!!!
gabby bright says:
i see.. where do u live? i am bored at home...and this usually leads to bad things especially since I'm single and sexually deprived
Me! says:
I just said, I'm from Mega City 1! Pay attention, citizen!
gabby bright says:
lol, read the fine print on that page babe..it says session is only $0.00 if a premium member invites you...I've been a premium member there for a long time. Trust me I know how the site works I'm a webcam freaklol..
Me! says:
Public nudity could earn you two years in The Cubes, citizen!
gabby bright says:
r you on any online dating sites? You seem fun... i just took some dirty pics and uploaded them on my BeNaughty page.. wanna see? haha
Me! says:
Seven years in The Cubes for soliciting a Judge of Mega city1!
gabby bright says:
Ok, go here, lemme know whatcha think (Website deleted, perv!) You might have to make an account if u dont have one already. It takes literally 1 minute and it's completely free..
Me! says:
An additional two years for resisting arrest!
gabby bright says:
Give me your username when you signup so I can send you a friend invitation, if you like my pics maybe we can get to know each other more ... k? =D
Me! says:
You'll get to know me when I'm throwing you in the cubes
gabby bright says:
i'm posting some more naughty pics I just took, would like to get your opinion..k?
Me! says:
You're just begging for a life sentence, aren't you?
gabby bright says:
did u make ur account??
Me! says:
I'm filing a report right now. Expect two Judges any minute.
Sentence: Life
Friday 17 February 2012
Marvel news!!!
Marvel is proud to announce the Marvel Universe line of comics perfect for fans of all ages, launching in April 2012 with the debuts of Marvel Universe: Ultimate Spider-Man #1 and Marvel Universe: The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes #1. Fans of Spider-Man, Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Hulk and all the Avengers should look for the Marvel Universe logo to find the most exciting stories they can imagine!
“The Marvel Universe line of comics not only clearly lets fans know they’re in for great stories, but also lets parents know where to find great stories to share with their kids” said Axel Alonso, Marvel Comics Editor in Chief. “The Marvel Universe line also includes the best all-ages stories we’ve told recently and we’re bringing them to millions of new fans through ambitious new initiatives. So when you see the name Marvel Universe, you’ll know it stands for the best all-ages super hero storytelling in the world—in print and digital media!”
In Marvel Universe: Ultimate Spider-Man #1, from Man Of Action, Dan Slott, Ty Templeton & Nuno Plati, Peter Parker must balance battling Super Villains and the drama of high school! But fear not True Believer, there is no menace too diabolical and no test too challenging for Spider-Man!
Then, in Marvel Universe: The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes #1, the creative team of Chris Yost and Adam Dekraker, present not one, but TWO new action-packed Avengers stories to catch you up on the adventures of Earth’s Mightiest through the eyes of Agent Coulson.
No fan of the Avengers or Spider-Man can miss out on these new action-packed Marvel Universe series, sure to excite fans of all ages! So make sure you’re the first in line this Spring to catch Marvel Universe: The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Adventures #1 and Marvel Universe: Ultimate Spider-Man Adventures #1 as the Marvel Universe line starts here!
MARVEL UNIVERSE: THE AVENGERS: EARTH’S MIGHTIEST HEROES #1 (FEB120603)
Written by CHRIS YOST
Pencils by ADAM DEKRAKER
All Ages …$2.99
ON SALE THIS APRIL!
MARVEL UNIVERSE: ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #1 (FEB120604)
Written by MEN OF ACTION, DAN SLOTT & TY TEMPLETON
Art by NUNO PLATI
All Ages …$2.99
ON SALE THIS APRIL!
“The Marvel Universe line of comics not only clearly lets fans know they’re in for great stories, but also lets parents know where to find great stories to share with their kids” said Axel Alonso, Marvel Comics Editor in Chief. “The Marvel Universe line also includes the best all-ages stories we’ve told recently and we’re bringing them to millions of new fans through ambitious new initiatives. So when you see the name Marvel Universe, you’ll know it stands for the best all-ages super hero storytelling in the world—in print and digital media!”
In Marvel Universe: Ultimate Spider-Man #1, from Man Of Action, Dan Slott, Ty Templeton & Nuno Plati, Peter Parker must balance battling Super Villains and the drama of high school! But fear not True Believer, there is no menace too diabolical and no test too challenging for Spider-Man!
Then, in Marvel Universe: The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes #1, the creative team of Chris Yost and Adam Dekraker, present not one, but TWO new action-packed Avengers stories to catch you up on the adventures of Earth’s Mightiest through the eyes of Agent Coulson.
No fan of the Avengers or Spider-Man can miss out on these new action-packed Marvel Universe series, sure to excite fans of all ages! So make sure you’re the first in line this Spring to catch Marvel Universe: The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Adventures #1 and Marvel Universe: Ultimate Spider-Man Adventures #1 as the Marvel Universe line starts here!
MARVEL UNIVERSE: THE AVENGERS: EARTH’S MIGHTIEST HEROES #1 (FEB120603)
Written by CHRIS YOST
Pencils by ADAM DEKRAKER
All Ages …$2.99
ON SALE THIS APRIL!
MARVEL UNIVERSE: ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #1 (FEB120604)
Written by MEN OF ACTION, DAN SLOTT & TY TEMPLETON
Art by NUNO PLATI
All Ages …$2.99
ON SALE THIS APRIL!
Saturday 28 January 2012
Review! 2001: A Space Odyssey!
OK, I’m finding it hard to start this review... So I’m going to sum up my thoughts as I watched it. Here we go!
“OK, so, this is interesting. Monkeys! Alright...”
“Going on a bit, isn’t it?”
“Aw, shit! A big black thing! A monolith, one might say! Now shit just got interesting!”
“The monkeys are learning to use clubs... Ooh and a bit of the old ultra violence!”
“Oooooooh space and classical music!”
“Nice, a lot of space and science. Obviously well researched.”
“A base is cut off? Wow and this guy’s into it? Not at Liberty to say? FUCK!”
“Alright... he’s going to the moon... It’s taking a while...”
“He’s at the moon! Shit, that is some creepy music. Ooh, there’s the black monolith... But why is it on the moon? Wow, a sci-fi mystery!”
“18 months later? Alright... Wonder what happened. Oh, a guy started jogging... OK.”
“He’s still going.”
“He gets breakfast with another guy.”
“Explanatory dialogue through a BBC interview. Alright...”
“Ooh, HAL! I know this guy from the many references in other films and TV shows!”
“All very interesting now, we have some paranoia! I wonder why it’s going insane. IS it on purpose? IS it linked to the monoliths? It sort of looks like one!”
“That was over pretty fast...”
“Aw, shit! Crazy colourful montage! A floating monolith in Spaaaaaaaace!”
“Still going.”
“And... still going.”
“...”
“Ooh a big white room! Wait, this isn’t going to be a big conversation with God is it? Some sort of Deus Ex Machina event?”
“He gets older... eats for a bit... Keeps seeing himself in the corner of his eye. Cool!”
“Aw, he’s dying- Wait, a monolith?!? FUCK! Shit just got crazy!”
“He’s... a fetus for some reason! Oh no no, is it going to turn out to be a dream?!? Oh... end credits.”
What the fuck? There was a lot of long boring bits with classical music but I liked them for the most part. I mean, it seemed like it was building to some epic conclusion with HAL linked the monoliths or some sort of... thing behind all of it.
It was over two hours long! And most of it was long slow shots of people walking in space!
This has to be one of the worst films I’ve ever seen, simply because the ending was infuriating.
I looked it up, just to see if I was really so dumb that I missed the point. But... I didn’t. Kubrick wanted people to get their own meaning from the film, to interpret in their own way.
Seems to me there is a Deus Ex Machina event; they got lazy. Or they didn’t know how to finish it so they came up with a bullshit argument about metaphors and what have you.
No, this movie is not clever, it is not special and it is not important. It looked pretty, I’ll give you that. And the soundtrack was fantastic. And, until the last ten minutes, I was enjoying the film but the ending ruined the whole thing.
You could argue that there is no way to end a film like that in a satisfactory way. I could argue that you’re making excuses because you like Kubrick’s work.
Am I missing the point? Probably but I don’t give a fuck, this film was a perfect example of bad story telling.
“OK, so, this is interesting. Monkeys! Alright...”
“Going on a bit, isn’t it?”
“Aw, shit! A big black thing! A monolith, one might say! Now shit just got interesting!”
“The monkeys are learning to use clubs... Ooh and a bit of the old ultra violence!”
“Oooooooh space and classical music!”
“Nice, a lot of space and science. Obviously well researched.”
“A base is cut off? Wow and this guy’s into it? Not at Liberty to say? FUCK!”
“Alright... he’s going to the moon... It’s taking a while...”
“He’s at the moon! Shit, that is some creepy music. Ooh, there’s the black monolith... But why is it on the moon? Wow, a sci-fi mystery!”
“18 months later? Alright... Wonder what happened. Oh, a guy started jogging... OK.”
“He’s still going.”
“He gets breakfast with another guy.”
“Explanatory dialogue through a BBC interview. Alright...”
“Ooh, HAL! I know this guy from the many references in other films and TV shows!”
“All very interesting now, we have some paranoia! I wonder why it’s going insane. IS it on purpose? IS it linked to the monoliths? It sort of looks like one!”
“That was over pretty fast...”
“Aw, shit! Crazy colourful montage! A floating monolith in Spaaaaaaaace!”
“Still going.”
“And... still going.”
“...”
“Ooh a big white room! Wait, this isn’t going to be a big conversation with God is it? Some sort of Deus Ex Machina event?”
“He gets older... eats for a bit... Keeps seeing himself in the corner of his eye. Cool!”
“Aw, he’s dying- Wait, a monolith?!? FUCK! Shit just got crazy!”
“He’s... a fetus for some reason! Oh no no, is it going to turn out to be a dream?!? Oh... end credits.”
What the fuck? There was a lot of long boring bits with classical music but I liked them for the most part. I mean, it seemed like it was building to some epic conclusion with HAL linked the monoliths or some sort of... thing behind all of it.
It was over two hours long! And most of it was long slow shots of people walking in space!
This has to be one of the worst films I’ve ever seen, simply because the ending was infuriating.
I looked it up, just to see if I was really so dumb that I missed the point. But... I didn’t. Kubrick wanted people to get their own meaning from the film, to interpret in their own way.
Seems to me there is a Deus Ex Machina event; they got lazy. Or they didn’t know how to finish it so they came up with a bullshit argument about metaphors and what have you.
No, this movie is not clever, it is not special and it is not important. It looked pretty, I’ll give you that. And the soundtrack was fantastic. And, until the last ten minutes, I was enjoying the film but the ending ruined the whole thing.
You could argue that there is no way to end a film like that in a satisfactory way. I could argue that you’re making excuses because you like Kubrick’s work.
Am I missing the point? Probably but I don’t give a fuck, this film was a perfect example of bad story telling.
Friday 13 January 2012
High hopes!
So, I love Skyrim, I do. It’s epic, there’s a lot to do and it’s great fun. But it was a letdown for me.
But this is not because of the game! It’s me. My expectations for this game were very high. Out of the solar system, one might say! And I’m pretty sure that the only way Skyrim could have really lived up to my expectations is if it came with prostitutes and a sandwich.
When I heard about all the new mechanics and features, my imagination ran wild. I couldn’t wait to play a game that, in reality, couldn’t exist.
Of course, a buddy of mine ( Check THIS shit out! ) loves the game and won’t shut the FUCK up about it, which is nice because I love talking about it. Just... not as much as I thought I would. And the reason he loves the game so much, possibly, is because he didn’t know a thing about it.
But this year has a lot of games in store that I’m excited for and I sort of want to avoid the disappointment that I get with every game I look forward to.
So, I have taken a few steps do avoid this problem! Check it out! A FUCKING LIST!
1. I will not watch or read any interviews with the developers, publishers or anybody else who has a financial reason to boast about the game. It’s not like they lie all the time but shit, they sure do forget to mention the bad points.
2. If it’s part of a franchise that I already love (for example, the next Hitman game). I will only watch one trailer to get myself pumped. I watched a shit load of Skyrim videos and, well, I told you how that turned out.
3. I will be as cynical as possible. “This game could revolutionise space travel, you say? I do not think so, sir! I’m cynical! Good day to you!” This, hopefully, will mean that I will be pleasantly surprised when a game does indeed revolutionise space travel.
And that’s all I could think of! But I know that keeping my distance works because I kept away from Deus Ex: Human Revolution. Not because of my expectations being too high but because I love the original Deus Ex and I was pretty sure that the new one would fall flat on its face. I was wrong, of course, which is why I’m doing the same for the games out this year.
But seriously... I am fucking super excited for Hitman. I’m gonna strangle folk with string!!!
But this is not because of the game! It’s me. My expectations for this game were very high. Out of the solar system, one might say! And I’m pretty sure that the only way Skyrim could have really lived up to my expectations is if it came with prostitutes and a sandwich.
When I heard about all the new mechanics and features, my imagination ran wild. I couldn’t wait to play a game that, in reality, couldn’t exist.
Of course, a buddy of mine ( Check THIS shit out! ) loves the game and won’t shut the FUCK up about it, which is nice because I love talking about it. Just... not as much as I thought I would. And the reason he loves the game so much, possibly, is because he didn’t know a thing about it.
But this year has a lot of games in store that I’m excited for and I sort of want to avoid the disappointment that I get with every game I look forward to.
So, I have taken a few steps do avoid this problem! Check it out! A FUCKING LIST!
1. I will not watch or read any interviews with the developers, publishers or anybody else who has a financial reason to boast about the game. It’s not like they lie all the time but shit, they sure do forget to mention the bad points.
2. If it’s part of a franchise that I already love (for example, the next Hitman game). I will only watch one trailer to get myself pumped. I watched a shit load of Skyrim videos and, well, I told you how that turned out.
3. I will be as cynical as possible. “This game could revolutionise space travel, you say? I do not think so, sir! I’m cynical! Good day to you!” This, hopefully, will mean that I will be pleasantly surprised when a game does indeed revolutionise space travel.
And that’s all I could think of! But I know that keeping my distance works because I kept away from Deus Ex: Human Revolution. Not because of my expectations being too high but because I love the original Deus Ex and I was pretty sure that the new one would fall flat on its face. I was wrong, of course, which is why I’m doing the same for the games out this year.
But seriously... I am fucking super excited for Hitman. I’m gonna strangle folk with string!!!
Monday 19 December 2011
Five top games of 2011
NUMBER FIVE! DEAD SPACE 2!
I liked the first one, despite it’s clunky controls. But, then again, clunky controls seem to be a theme in horror games.
But, unlike many other horror games, I didn’t want to smash my fucking foot through the disc in a fit of rage. Something people seem to have forgotten is that horror lies within the atmosphere, not the gore or whatever! And the atmosphere is gone when you’re repeating the same scene for the 20th time because the camera controls suck monkey tits.
But dead space 2 fixed a majority of the problems. The easier controls helped fight the monsters and enough new nasties were added to keep some sense of urgency.
It’s a very fun game and it has enough horror to be called a horror game (unlike the newer resident evil and silent hill games). But it wasn’t very scary. Still, good gameplay and decent story.
NUMBER FOUR! MARVEL VS CAPCOM 3! FATE OF TWO WORLDS!!!
I’m not big on fight games. Don’t get me wrong, I love playing a few rounds on street fighter or Tekken but I’ve never liked them enough to actually buy one.
Until now! MVC3 is a whole lot of fun. The controls are great, it’s well paced and matches last long enough to be interesting and not so long that they get stale. Plus, you get to choose a team of three fighters, instead of sticking to one.
Three fighters! How cool is that?!? I can play hulk for a while then Ryu when I fucking feel like throwing some fucking hadokens!
NUMBER THREE! INFAMOUS 2!
Blowing shit up! Infamous was a fantastic game but, as you may know, it had problems. Too many bad guys when all you wanna do is find shards!
But the sequel fixes all that. Well, for the most part. It’s fun, fast and lasts just long enough to get you used to ALL THE SUPER FUCKING COOL ELECTRIC POWERS! BOOM! ZZZZZZZZING!!! KRAKATHOOOOOOOOO!
It’s one the best open world games I’ve played in a long time and it gives you a lot to do, plenty of fun! Keeps you busy!
NUMBER TWOOO! AWWWWW IT’S SKYRIM!!!
Don’t hit me! Yes yes, I put Skyrim at second place3. Why? Well it’s not as great as it should be. I found the guild missions to easy to beat, their story lines too short and the variety lacking.
With Oblivion I loved creating new characters with new classes and what have you but in Skyrim I find that once you’ve done it once or twice, there’s no point in doing it again.
Don’t get me wrong, the game is great. It’s huge! There are dragons! The main story is epic! Short, though. Very short.
And every race looks cool. Every one of them! It looks great and, despide my bitching, there is a lot to do for a while. It’s just... not as great as it could be.
AW SHIT! HERE’S NUMBER 1! DUKE NUKEM- I’m joking, obviously. IT’ DEUS EX: HUMAN
REVOLUTION!
Deus Ex was a freaking awesome game. And Deus Ex: HR? A worthy follow up! It’s a prequel which means we get to see how everything started and wow, it’s pretty cool.
The gameplay is varied enough to justify replaying it and the story is very interesting and well told. It’s not as huge and varied as the original’s story but it’s good.
There aren’t as many choices as you’d expect from this series but that’s only a minor argument. The game did what it set out to do. It added to the Deus Ex universe and entertained us. I expected less and got more!
I liked the first one, despite it’s clunky controls. But, then again, clunky controls seem to be a theme in horror games.
But, unlike many other horror games, I didn’t want to smash my fucking foot through the disc in a fit of rage. Something people seem to have forgotten is that horror lies within the atmosphere, not the gore or whatever! And the atmosphere is gone when you’re repeating the same scene for the 20th time because the camera controls suck monkey tits.
But dead space 2 fixed a majority of the problems. The easier controls helped fight the monsters and enough new nasties were added to keep some sense of urgency.
It’s a very fun game and it has enough horror to be called a horror game (unlike the newer resident evil and silent hill games). But it wasn’t very scary. Still, good gameplay and decent story.
NUMBER FOUR! MARVEL VS CAPCOM 3! FATE OF TWO WORLDS!!!
I’m not big on fight games. Don’t get me wrong, I love playing a few rounds on street fighter or Tekken but I’ve never liked them enough to actually buy one.
Until now! MVC3 is a whole lot of fun. The controls are great, it’s well paced and matches last long enough to be interesting and not so long that they get stale. Plus, you get to choose a team of three fighters, instead of sticking to one.
Three fighters! How cool is that?!? I can play hulk for a while then Ryu when I fucking feel like throwing some fucking hadokens!
NUMBER THREE! INFAMOUS 2!
Blowing shit up! Infamous was a fantastic game but, as you may know, it had problems. Too many bad guys when all you wanna do is find shards!
But the sequel fixes all that. Well, for the most part. It’s fun, fast and lasts just long enough to get you used to ALL THE SUPER FUCKING COOL ELECTRIC POWERS! BOOM! ZZZZZZZZING!!! KRAKATHOOOOOOOOO!
It’s one the best open world games I’ve played in a long time and it gives you a lot to do, plenty of fun! Keeps you busy!
NUMBER TWOOO! AWWWWW IT’S SKYRIM!!!
Don’t hit me! Yes yes, I put Skyrim at second place3. Why? Well it’s not as great as it should be. I found the guild missions to easy to beat, their story lines too short and the variety lacking.
With Oblivion I loved creating new characters with new classes and what have you but in Skyrim I find that once you’ve done it once or twice, there’s no point in doing it again.
Don’t get me wrong, the game is great. It’s huge! There are dragons! The main story is epic! Short, though. Very short.
And every race looks cool. Every one of them! It looks great and, despide my bitching, there is a lot to do for a while. It’s just... not as great as it could be.
AW SHIT! HERE’S NUMBER 1! DUKE NUKEM- I’m joking, obviously. IT’ DEUS EX: HUMAN
REVOLUTION!
Deus Ex was a freaking awesome game. And Deus Ex: HR? A worthy follow up! It’s a prequel which means we get to see how everything started and wow, it’s pretty cool.
The gameplay is varied enough to justify replaying it and the story is very interesting and well told. It’s not as huge and varied as the original’s story but it’s good.
There aren’t as many choices as you’d expect from this series but that’s only a minor argument. The game did what it set out to do. It added to the Deus Ex universe and entertained us. I expected less and got more!
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