Monday 31 October 2011

Can't Dodge: Double Experience

I’m introducing a new feature! I call it... Can’t dodge! Because, honestly, I can’t dodge for shit. At least. not in video games. I’ve been slapped enough to know how to dodge in real life. Basically I’m going to be regaling you with tales about my crapness in video games. This includes cock ups, mess ups, foul ups, fuck ups, accidents and plain old shittery. Today I’d like to discuss Call of Duty: Black Ops. Specifically the online multiplayer. Specifically-er Team Deatmatch. I’m not very good at this game, although I have been improving. Over the weekend I ruled a map, earning killstreaks all over the place, my kill death ratio was 4.something and I was top of the team. Then, on a fresh match, I realised that the opposing team in the previous match was just really shit. But the weekend has been surprisingly good! I levelled up several times, thanks to the double experience weekend and, to my surprise, there was a lack of hackers, noob tubers and campers. They were still there but the majority of matches were good fun. But today has been awful. It’s like everyone waited until today to be a prick. I loaded my Aug with extended clip and got ready for all out war! Only to be shot down by noob tubers. When I tried running through buildings to get around them I found claymores everywhere and when I tried to go through alley ways, I was cut down by campers. This was on both teams, by the way. If it wasn’t for the noob tubers, no points would have been scored because everybody would have been camping at opposite ends of the map. Well, I guess the enemy would have plenty because I was running around like an idiot... Although, it’s great to sneak up on campers, watching them lie there in open doorways while you aim for the head. Go ahead and teabag one next time you see one! Be careful, though, they could always turn around... I’ve had that problem... more than once.

4 comments:

  1. Man, I never play shit online and dodging was never really a problem for me in games... but I suck at blocking. And in fighting games I pretty much never block. I do try to dodge though! lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. When a guy runs out in front of me I just freeze and start shooting, I never dodge lol. It's alright against AI but people don't stand still!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Story of my life. I cant even play Black Ops online anymore because im always consistently shit.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I know what you mean, X-Man. That's how I came up with this feature! "How can I make my shittiness funny?"

    ReplyDelete