Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Can't Dodge: Scarecrow Troubles

I don’t play MMORPG’s. I just don’t. And I don’t trust those that do. They constantly want to level up, no matter who they have to kill to do it. I don’t want to be killed for the sake of somebody’s insane urge to have a new speed skill or whatever.

But I do like DC. I mean, who doesn’t like Batman? I’m going to add those who don’t like Batman to my “don’t trust” list.

I’m also a big fan of free stuff so when DC universe Online went free to play this month I downloaded.

We’ll skip over the part where I downloaded it at 11:30pm and it didn’t finish until 4:30pm. I only got three and a half hours sleep because no MMORPG players have mentioned the download time before.

Instead, let’s get straight to how shit I am at the game.

At first I seemed to be alright at it. Make a cool looking hero in a trench coat, have Batman as my mentor and agonise over choosing a decent name that wasn’t taken.
Battle through Brainiac’s ship in the tutorial mission, blah blah blah, team up with Superman and the finally leave and go to the Gotham precinct. Not too bad so far! Batman has given me some orders and told me how cool I am!

Then the first mission started. Go fight Scarecrow’s goons and protect hazmat guys. Simple, right? Fuck no.

I don’t know how to protect these guys! I keep close to fight the goons coming after them but lag kicks in and the hazmat guys disappear!

I find myself chasing ghost in yellow suits, trying to protect them. It also doesn’t help when the goals are written in itty bitty font sizes, almost impossible to read.
But I did eventually figure out what to do. I saved some dude, hit some dudes. All good.

Then I had to find the scarecrow. “In the sewers,” they said. Is he? Then why can’t I go down one of the many manholes?!? Turns out I had to wait in a queue, on the “on duty” screen.

After that I spent a lot of time getting my ass handed to me by goons. I’ve been told that I need to “grind” which means I need to level up by killing enemies for hours, gaining nothing except maybe making the next mission a little easier.

It also looks like I chose the wrong “travel power.” I chose acrobatics because it was as close to Batman as I could get. So while I’m running slightly faster than normal, there are people running past me with super speed and flying over me with flight.

Fuck that. No more of these games for me. RPG’s are fine but MMORPG’s are not for me.


  1. Damn, you make it sound like it's fuckin atrocious. I never played an MMORPG. I can imagine it would be slow as shit on my computer and I'd hate the people I'm supposed to play with/against.

  2. Man, everyone gets in the fucking way all the fucking time. I'm all like "get the fuck out of my fucking way!"

    Don't get me wrong, I love getting pats on the head from Batman and all that but fuck, the game is annoying!